Beware the Wiener

Inspired by James F. Elliott's recent post regarding home defense, I'm revealing one of the formerly super secret lines of defense that stand between my family and would-be intruders.

Behold the canine...

...and that's not just any kind of mutt; it's a vicious half-wiener dog.

It may appear docile as it gathers its strength, deep in martial arts meditation in accordance with the ancient Sanskrit scripture of the Sundog sutra, but don't let it's peaceful repose fool you. It's a ticking time bomb of pure puppy power.

The photograph below was taken with a long, telephoto lens, from the safety of an observation bunker at our proving grounds.

If you're looking into these eyes at close range, it's the last thing you'll ever see.

Finally, a rare action shot of the weapon deployed in battle, exhibiting one of its many attack modes. This is what operators in the field refer to as "full flap."

The frames that followed would exceed Blogger's terms of service, and therefore remain classified. Suffice it to say, what came next, gentle readers, was unsuitable for this refined venue.